How often do you feel powerless as a graduate student? I mean really. It seems to me, that more often than not graduate students can feel so defeated. Or feel bound by some set of rules, expectations, or demands in which the end result for the students are feelings of weakness and pure lack of power. And whether those feelings are brought on by an unreasonable insensitive advisor, parents who are still controlling your future, or by self-doubt, imposter syndrome, or perfectionist tendencies, the truth is that as a graduate student you have way more power than you think.
You have the power to choose you. I can recall friends that suffered emotionally and physically from overdoing it and working way too hard in graduate school. In all honestly, that was me too. I have always believed in hard work and in the philosophy that no matter what, you get things done. But I didn’t recognize in graduate school, that this mentality was costing me, until I saw a picture of myself in my third year and didn’t recognize myself. Don’t go look this one up. I learned that if I didn’t value my own health and well-being it was hard to advocate for myself when others (or even I) put myself in situations and environments that were not the best for me (e.g., working 60 hours non-stop no sleep, worrying about exam grades when I truly had done by best, …). In time I learned that I had the power to choose me. I had the power to choose to take care of me. And that I couldn’t let anyone make me believe less. Of course, my advisor expected hard work from me, however, I had the power to choose to take time for myself. Time to get adequate rest. Time to go to the student rec on campus and workout. Time to cook more and eat better. And I realized that taking care of those things helped me to work smarter with less time and bring my A+ game to the lab more days than not.
You have the power to make choices. Yes of course you knew this, but did you really know this. Think about it, what happens if you end up (or currently are) in a hostile lab or group environment that prevents you from being whole and healthy let alone productive. You have the power to make a choice about whether to go or to stay. I’m not implying it’s a simple choice. An easy one or one that will come without any consequences, but the point is that you have the power to make that choice. You’re an adult. You’re responsible for your own life (and maybe that of others). You’re brilliant and capable. You’re able to rebound and go another path. You have the power to make that choice, regardless of what or who you feel may be backing you into a corner and making all of the choices for you and your own life.
You have the power to choose your mindset. There are thousands of memes that accurately capture the feelings and thoughts of graduate students from feelings of frustration and confusion, sarcasm, to feelings of hopelessness. There is on one who understands better the horrors of graduate school other than another graduate student has gone through the process or is going through it with you. At some point, though we have to recognize that what we feed into our minds, eyes, and hearts impacts our mindset. The cost of constantly being reminded of the difficulties, challenges, and negativity of graduate school is that it perpetuates negative feelings and a negative mindset. You have the power to change this. You have the power to adopt a more positive way of thinking (even when you don’t believe it) that will help fuel and power you through different situations. For example, instead of feeling inadequate and not at smart as your advisor whenever you meet with them, you can view the meeting as a learning opportunity for you to grow and develop, and get what’s needed from them to ensure you can make the next forward steps in this journey.
The next time you feel like you’re powerless please know that you have more power than you think. You have the power to be yourself. You have the power to overcome. You have the power to do what seems difficult. You have the power to have a more positive experience in this chapter of your career.
Together, we have the power to transform the graduate journey.
If you are a graduate student reading this and feel powerless in general or powerless in a certain situation, one of our coaches would be glad to speak with you.
Until next time,
Renã AS Robinson, PhD
