Getting used to a new normal is the steady state of being a doctoral student. Just when you have a system and routine in place that is allowing you to be highly productive, something or someone comes up, and temporarily knocks you off course. And then you have to get over any emotional, mental, or physical barriers that exist in order to establish a new normal and get back to it. But what happens in that period in between getting knocked down, seeing this huge barrier (or perceived big barrier), and getting over it or knocking it down altogether that allows you to find your way back to productivity?
I’ll offer up a strategy that works for me when I find myself in this in between place, and honestly sometimes all too often.
First, I allow myself to experience all the emotions that come with getting knocked down or derailed. That might mean calling up a close friend who can relate with my journey and won’t judge me if I vent nonstop for an hour or so. Or falling into a funk for a few days because the thought of what lies in front of me is just too much. Or I cry, stomp in frustration, or sit in numbness because I can’t imagine having to make yet another adjustment to get on track. Whatever you are feeling in these moments of having to establish a new normal… Let it all out.
Second, I find reminders that I’m capable of overcoming this barrier. This could be wrapped up in a period of reflection where I try to remember the last time I was in this situation and acknowledge the fact that I made it through. When it’s too cloudy for me to remember, I call on those friends, loved ones, or even mentors or advisors, that are usually glad to give me that reminder. They also help me to realize the huge barrier I see or am experiencing isn’t as big as I think.
Third, I exhaust as many possible options for overcoming or removing this barrier. Hey in order to fight something effectively, you have to know what you’re up against. Does this barrier require that you have to start from scratch with an experiment in the lab? Does it require that you have to completely rewrite a chapter for the tenth time? Whatever it is, there are ways to overcome this even if sometimes the answer is that things have to run their course and will be difficult but doable.
Fourth, I seek wisdom on the best route forward. Mentors can help with this, often times so can thoughtful and considerate advisors. But sometimes, this wisdom can come from others such as a partner, a parent, counselor, therapist, or a spiritual advisor. I get that they might not understand the half or the majority of the details of what your barrier is, because it’s a second language just to describe it. But what they can offer is simple, straightforward advice, a fresh perspective, or much needed encouragement. It’s up to you to take from the advice what you can and use.
Fifth, I act on what I believe is the best path forward and start moving one step at a time. The reality of most barriers that come up in this journey is that they will not just go away by themselves. The presentation that you have to give that has a hard date attached to it, is scheduled to happen so you have to do your part and show up. The dreadful data analysis that is needed to get your figure made for your paper, has to be completed if you want this paper to get submitted. A refresh, quick change in mindset, and move to fighter mode will help you get back up. And then you take a step. One step towards overcoming this barrier. The size of the step doesn’t matter as much as that you take a step…literally, making one slide in your presentation, or calling up the expert in your data analysis software to get some help… Make one step. And what inevitably starts to happen as you make one step, you complete that one, and then take the next step, and after that one you start to see a couple of steps ahead and you take those, and before you know it…
Sixth, I don’t stop until I get close enough to removing this barrier that I become convinced it’s no longer a barrier or at the minimum that it won’t take me out. I recognize that some barriers seem so impossible to overcome that it’s hard to see in the moment that this too will pass and at some point, will be behind you. But as you keep taking those small steps to break this barrier down, then the barrier itself will shrink. And as you see it start to shrink, then you convince yourself that you have what it takes to see this thing through.
Overcoming barriers throughout graduate school is an unfortunate part of the normal activity that will help build your character and give you that grit that you will call upon the rest of your life. Don’t let that barrier take you out. You totally have what it takes (or we can find someone who does to help you) to overcome this barrier and move forward.
Until next time,
Renã AS Robinson, PhD
