Graduate school provides somewhat of a protected and sheltered environment. Consider that you are able to get lost in the world of your research. Lost in days of reading and writing. And you have the ability (sometimes not by your own choice) to spend hours, days, and weeks in isolation working on whatever it is that you’re working on.
But what do you do when all hell breaks loose and unexpected situations come about.
Situations that catch you off guard and could possibly take you out.
Tornadoes that wreck havoc on your city and leave you or your friends without a home. Literally.
A diagnosis of a chronic illness that comes your way without any foresight that your health was compromised.
Family or loved ones that become ill, have emergencies, or God forbid die.
Relationships that take a turn for the worse and end up being super toxic.
Conflict that arises at work and has escalated to a level that is hard to see how to get back under control.
And the list can go on with all sorts of unexpected situations.
As unfortunate as any of these situations can be, for many of us these things become a part of our life. And graduate school does not protect us from life. And while it may be the philosophy of some that these things don’t matter and your dissertation is still the most important thing in life…well, that’s up to you to decide.
Even as a professor life happens and unexpected things arise. Often, it’s these things that allow life to get put into perspective. For example, is my paper more important than being there for a loved one who’s life is on the line? Is this upcoming presentation more important than taking myself to the doctor to get treatment for a minor injury that untreated turns into a major issue? Is pushing so hard at work worth not taking a short break to get mentally healthy when at any moment I could explode from holding all of my issues (work or non-work related) in and just dealing?
The answer to these for me seem so obvious now but in full disclosure were not as straightforward as a graduate student.
I dare not try to give a one size fits all solution to tell you how to deal with any of these life situations, because I don’t know what you’re going through. I am qualified, however, from my own personal experiences as a former graduate student and professor, to let you know that it is okay to figure out what support you need to deal with these situations.
Perhaps it’s a short call home. Perhaps it’s a weekend or a week home. Perhaps it’s counseling support. Maybe it’s a drop in visit from a friend or family member. Maybe it’s a short break from everything (work, research, writing, teaching, ….) to process your emotions and regain focus. Maybe it is relying on your faith or spiritual practices. Again, there’s no one solution but the point is here, it’s okay to figure out what you need to be well and whole and able to make it through these situations.
Did you know for instance, that many campuses including yours may have counseling or support services available to you?
Or that sometimes a conversation with an advisor or professor can lead to some alternative options to provide you support without falling too behind on work?
Or have you checked out your graduate student handbook to understand options for taking a leave of absence for a longer period of time if needed?
Life happens. It happens to and through all of us. And when unexpected ish arises, it’s important to get support (if needed) to deal with those things in the face of completing your dissertation work.
Certainly, if all hell is breaking loose right now in life and it’s compromising your ability to work on your dissertation, one of our coaches may be of resource to you.
Until next time, be well!
Renã AS Robinson, PhD
Image by guenther3011 from Pixabay
